in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
