just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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