Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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