sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
