I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
