Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
