God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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