do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
