Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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