I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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