Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
did i just pee glitter
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize