why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
