i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
