yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
