does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.