Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles