I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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