I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
