You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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