I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
