I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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