my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
