am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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