This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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