i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
