from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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