Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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(828): View more from North Carolina

All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

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(703): View more from Virginia

never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm banging this nun...

(314): View more from Missouri

Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

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(302): View more from Delaware

Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?

(845): View more from New York

Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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(917): View more from New York City

fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker

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(858): View more from California

Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.

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(813): View more from Florida

Why is there bacon in the couch?

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