I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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