Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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