No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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