Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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