u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
