I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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