NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
