Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
