That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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