I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize