Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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