This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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