Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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