with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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