I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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