Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
