Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
