You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
