He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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