i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
