Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
