started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need moral support for this bender
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
