His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
