This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
