life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Shame is for Republicans.
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