Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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