seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize