ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
