but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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