mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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