No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
