I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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