There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
