Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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