my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
