When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
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I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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