i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
