What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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