you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
