Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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