You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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