We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
