3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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