Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
