we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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