fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
