We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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