For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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